After the disappearance…

Having a job that is mentally challenging consumed all the time and energy that I used to spend on reading and creative projects. I decided to try getting back after a long period of hiatus.

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I have a lot of work to do with clearing out my reading lists. I’ve reached a point where I don’t even remember what books I started reading or what they are all about! So sure, with some I have the bookmarks and the number of the page I last opened but all this has kept me wondering that maybe it’s time for a clean slate.

I stopped with the reading altogether when reading started to feel like running with no end in sight. I was left with anything else being a more appealing option than reading a book. And that is simply sad since all I need to do is turn around the room and I can see books that I was happy and dancing with joy at the thought of reading them when I got them. That desire is still there.

So what went wrong?

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One major thing I decided to do this year is to stop trying to finish the books that make me feel bad in any way. Keeping to reading a book that is not sitting well with me out of some silly notion that I must not quit is doing me some serious harm.

I get very emotional in my reading and while some stories inspire me; some others just drag me down and make me emotionally depleted. I had no will to read, no books to write about and no energy to create content or even talk about books in general.

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Before I can decide to focus on all the books I love I need to do some clearing of the books I’m stuck on.

Last four books I’ve kept on my Currently reading shelf on Goodreads without making any progress for months on are:

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The Joke by Milan Kundera

There is nothing funny about this book. Especially if you ever lived in a country where telling a bad joke to a wrong person can get you incarcerated. I remember watching a movie based on one of other Milan Kundera’s works The Unbearable Lightness of Being. All I remember of it is the unbearably anemic scenography and a boring plot. This was one of the last books I picked up for my reading club in August last year I think. And it was the last one since then because I went on a hiatus form the book club as well. I’m well over two thirds in and I just cant stand the characters or the themes in the book. I’m officially putting and end to it and letting it go.

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Man for Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics

by Erich Fromm

This one has gone on for well over a year. Truth be told I can’t even remember the last time I picked it up. This one might stay since the problem was not in the reading experience. The problem is being concentrated and having the time to read it without rush. If I’m willing to make changes to my reading in general then this might prove to be a rewarding experience in the end. I must make a triage of the books I like the thought of reading and the books I actually want to read. This one is somewhere in the middle.

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Serpent’s Kiss (Elder Races #2) by Thea Harrison

I generally like the UF genre but this book is going back to the shelf. While I liked the first book of the series and the writing style in general the characters in this one have left me disinterested. I might go back to it in some other time in my life.

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The All Souls Complete Trilogy:

A Discovery of Witches is only the beginning of the story

(All Souls Trilogy #1-3) by Deborah Harkness

I have so many great books I’m looking forward to on my shelves and after I watched the first season of the series I had to read this one again just to compare it to the show. While i liked the first book of the trilogy I never picked up the other two. After getting a Kindle for present and having issues with buying the translated edition I wanted I got this trilogy as a bundle combo on Kindle. This is the only book of all those above I’m actually reading. i’m reading it before bedtime sometimes when I can’t fall asleep and I’m taking my damn time with it.

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I realized that I need to be honest with myself about my reading needs and interests. Conserving my emotional and creative energy takes precedence over finishing a book that makes me struggle and brings me no joy. This does not mean I will give up on books as soon as I have problems with it. It means I will consider my issues with the book in question more seriously and not pin it on the quitting shame.

I do this in hope to have more exciting reading moments in 2019.

Happy New Year in reading and all the best!

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Book series I started…

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I love book series of all kinds. There are historical romance book series I enjoy. There are urban fantasy book series I cant get enough of. I have a few favorite manga and graphic novel series as well. It was only after I tried to keep track of the book series I started but for some reason never continued after reading only the first book did I realize how many of them are on my reading lists. It took whole two pages just to write the titles of the firsts books of the series I started reading. Now that I look at them all I see some I’ve totally forgotten about and some I keep meaning to continue but never actually do. I managed to put them all in three rough categories:

#1 First books of a series that I will not continue

#2 First books of a series I even forgot about

#3 First books of a series I want to continue

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First I had to weed out many of the historical romances I read out of order and had no desire to follow from the beginning. There were also quite the number of graphic novel series I tried out because I wanted to learn an origin story of this or that character and never actually meaning to continue reading them. Also there were a few first books of a series I read and then switched to some prequel first book series and then everything got complicated and I just let them go. Those above mentioned I’m keeping totally out of this discussion.

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#1 First books of a series that I will not continue

These are the books that for some reason did not appeal to me enough to consider to continue reading the rest of the series. As happened with Anne Bishop Ephemera book series. I expected to like the enough to continue reading and bought first two books right away. It has been years since I read the first and will probably never read the second. Demonica series from Larissa Ione was a sort of gamble when I bought it. For some reason it did not blew me away and I did not feel like buying or reading the rest of the series. On Dublin Street book series I just joined in on the hype on the first book when it was translated to Croatian. I never felt motivated enough to read beyond that first book.

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Some of them I did not like and was disappointed after reading them. My biggest disappointment was by far Hellsing manga by Khota Hirano. I loved anime adaptations and had high expectations from the original manga. I even felt cheated on it and was later glad I did not start buying the whole series. Wrinkle in Time I read this year as a book club assignment and was not impressed at all. Beautiful Disaster was one of those books in the YA genre everybody was suddenly talking about. I found it to be shallow and boring.

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And then there were some book series in this category that I just decided they were not for me and just made a decision not to continue reading the rest of the books in the series. How to Train your Dragon and The Penderwicks were both funny and lovely but I could feel they were intended for much younger audience. I’m glad I’ve read them both but will not be reading the rest. Homeland by R.A. Salvatore is the most famous Dungeons and Dragons novelization and first book in a very long book series about the legendary elf drow Drizzt. I tried it out since I was curious about the character and since I’m an avid RPG player. After reading the first book I realized that the author had decided to keep the PG rating for the mostly American market and availability. I am not a fan of books where author ends a scene with a simple curtains down and a morning after routine. I decided to give it up altogether for lack of sex scenes. I find it hypocritical how violence is OK but sex is not OK for the readers. The last book series in this segment is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. The violence and brutality of the book kept me on edge most of the reading. I decided to let it go since it bothered me too much. With the book series I even stopped watching the TV show. Now I’m having second thoughts and I’m continuing watching the TV show so I might go back to the books as well

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There are a few I was happy about reading and did not feel the need to continue it as a series. One of the books I was impressed with and was actually surprised at how much I liked it was Foundation by Isaac Asimov. After reading it and getting the general feel to the ideas behind the book I did not feel like reading the other books from the series. Same was with the Wallbanger series by Alice Clayton. I enjoyed the book and even bought it as a present for other but never felt the need to read the rest of the books from the series. The Shadow of the Wind was a book club reading assignment. I enjoyed the writing style and have read few other books by Carlos Ruiz Zafon before. The story for me felt complete enough and I haven’t searched out the rest of the books from the series

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#2 First books of a series I even forgot about

These books I read long ago and I forgot about reading them. With Blake Crouch‘s Wayward Pines thriller I was intrigued and picked it up even though it was not my favorite genre. I remember being immersed in the book. I even watched the TV show and enjoyed it. And I seem to forgot about it later on. I enjoyed reading YA novel Matched by Ally Condie. I even liked the book covers for all three books and how they actually made sense with the plot of the books. I never continued the series though…

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Some books and series were not actually memorable and nothing about them set them apart from similar books in their genre. I found Julia Quinn‘s Bridgertons book series not particularly memorable. The plot and the characters just seemed to blend in with many others I’ve read at the time. Down to You by M. Leighton also got lost in the sea of other similar books in the genre. I remember plot having potential but not actually delivering more than simple erotic fiction. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich is a first in a rather long book series that even got a movie. I remember enjoying the funny parts of the book. After watching the movie I was confused about the stupid plot holes that came over from the book and just forgot about the rest of the series altogether.

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When I first read these series I did not have other books of the series available for reading. Later on I just simply forgot about them. Love is Darkness was a freebie first book from Valerie Dearborn book series on Kindle. I enjoyed it quite a bit. At the time I was unsure weather to buy the other books or not. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was another book club assignment. In Croatian translation all five books are hard to come by since they are mostly sold out. I have a first one from my boyfriend and I for some reason I did not want to read the library copies.

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#3 First books of a series I want to continue

Here I have sorted book series that I want to continue and have the books ready. All I need is to start reading them, but for some reason I hesitate. Interview with the Vampire I’ve read only recently. While I have most of the other books in this series available I still hesitate to read them. I think I want to like them and have a feeling I won’t. Howl’s Moving Castle was a book I was hyped about. I loved both of the anime versions – Japanese and English voiceovers. I expected the book to blow me away but it did not. I’m still hoping to read other books of the series and keep them close by. I liked all the books by Cassandra Clare I’ve read so far. Earlier this year I’ve read Clockwork Angel. I like it despite its steampunkish traits. While the characters are quite charming I feel a bit apprehensive toward reading next books from this series. Of Saints and Shadows is an older UF book from the Shadow Saga book series by Christopher Golden. I remember it being creepy and downright scary. I always thought of picking it up again one day. I have next tree books already waiting. I think since it has been years I’ve read the first book that I might have some problems into getting into the second one now.

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And for the end I have books that I want to read but have problems with getting the actual books from the series. Some like Log Horizon manga I have issues with identifying the second volume manga edition. I keep coming up with light novelization and I’m not interested in those at all. supposedly the author Mamare Touno had some legal issues and even the anime series has stopped. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness was an absolute pleasure to read. I really loved Croatian translation edition in hardcover. I’m thinking on getting a hardcover copy for sure. Not sure yet will it be in English or Croatian though.The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams was a part of a reading challenge from my boyfriend. It is one of his favorite book series. He used to have them and borrowed them to someone who never returned them. I’m planing to get the whole series for him someday in a nice package with the new books coming out this year.

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It has been a while since I made a post this long. Hopefully you did not find it too boring.